


Strangers

by Sircastic84



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV), SwanQueen - Fandom
Genre: Arguing, F/F, Family, Fluff, Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-14
Updated: 2019-01-27
Packaged: 2019-08-23 18:29:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16624178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sircastic84/pseuds/Sircastic84
Summary: A prank war between Emma and Zelena gets out of hand, making strangers of Emma and Regina.





	1. Strangers

She open her eyes, they dart around the unfamiliar room as she lays in the unfamiliar bed. She sits up and pulls the covers back, taking in the unfamiliar silk pyjamas that are covering her body. She throws her legs over the side of the bed and exhales in shock and excitement, the truth of what has happened slowly creeping up on her. She runs her fingers through her hair, the length that she is used to feeling is no longer there. She walks over the large window and peers at the view ahead.

“I did it. I won.” Her curse had worked, it had taken them all from their land and made them forget their lives and their loved ones in the Enchanted Forest.

She rushes to her wardrobe and fingers through the clothes hanging there, she pulls a sleek black dress off the rack and walks to the full length mirror on the other side of the room, holding the garment against her body as she admires her reflection.

“Hey, babe,” can be heard along with footsteps approaching the door to her bedroom. She whips around just in time to see an attractive blonde woman entering, with a mug in each hand. “I’ve finished the last of the coffee, would you mind picking some more up from the store after work? I probably won’t be home until really late tonight, I have to cover Graham’s shift.” When Emma notices her wife standing with the tightest dress she owns, the one that shows off all her curves on just the right side of debauched, she places both mugs down on the dresser and heads towards Regina. “I love that dress on you, but if you put it on I may just have to take it straight back off you.” She said seductively as her hands held onto slim but curvy hips.

Regina stood frozen to the spot, the cursed names of everyone from the Enchanted Forest flashed through her mind but she had no idea who this woman standing in front of her was back in their land. Maybe she was some peasant she had found on one of the royal roads and had taken back to her castle for the night, she certainly was her type. It couldn’t be though, she would remember those eyes. “Who the hell are you?”

Emma raises a challenging eyebrow. “Is it one of those mornings, you fancy a bit of roleplay? We don’t have much time but I’m game if you are.” She pulls the brunette against her and kisses her hard as she lifts her up and walks to the bed.

Regina is momentarily stunned by the demanding lips against her own and when she feels herself being picked up she instinctively wraps her legs around the blondes slim waist, just to secure herself so the blonde oaf doesn’t let her fall to the floor. 

Emma drops her onto the bed and lays down on top of her, kissing her neck. “So, what’s it to be? Prison Officer and Prisoner? Headmistress and naughty schoolgirl? Tell me what you want, baby.”

Regina is never a bottom, no one ever has control of her. Panic shoots through her veins as she remembers her marriage to Leopold and the nights when he would pin her to the bed and take advantage of her. She raises her knee and puts as much force into it as she can muster from her position on her back. It has the desired effect as it makes contact with the blondes centre and sends her reeling backwards, landing on the carpeted floor with a thud.

“Fuck, Regina. What the hell?” Emma manages to gasp out as she lays curled up on the floor, cupping herself in pain.

Regina scrambles off the bed and runs out of the door, fleeing down the stairs without knowing where she is going and not even caring. She’s reaching for the handle on the front door when a voice stops her in her tracks. 

“Mom?”

She slowly turns her head, not sure what to expect. When Rumple had given her the curse he hadn’t mentioned anything about her waking up and being accosted by a brutish blonde or about her having a child. She stares at the young boy curiously, he didn’t look like her or like anyone she knows.

“Regina, what was that all about?” Emma queries as she slowly makes her way down the stairs, her stance wider than usual. Regina looks between her and the young boy, young man really, confusion apparent on her face. “Henry, go fix yourself some cereal. We’ll be through in a minute.” Emma directs her son, her eyes never leaving Regina.

“Can I have chocoflakes?” He was only ever allowed the sugary cereal on weekends but he could sense something was awry and was going to take full advantage of that.

“Yeah, sure kid, whatever you want.” He skips merrily to the kitchen, prepared to fix himself the biggest bowl of cereal he’s ever had, seen as there wouldn’t be any parental guidance.

“Baby, are you okay?” Regina’s eyes snap from where they followed her supposed son into what must have been the kitchen, and glare at the woman on the stairs.

“Do not call me that. Now tell me who you are.” She demands icily, in a tone Emma hadn’t heard in many years.

“I’m Emma…. your wife. I know we went at it pretty hard last night but I didn’t think you hit your head on the headboard that hard.”

“Excuse me? I would never go to bed with a peasant as lowly as you.” She so would, in any other circumstances those eyes and strong cheekbones would have her mounting the woman against the nearest surface.

“Damn you, Zelena!” She mutters under her breath as the penny drops. “I’m sorry, your Majesty.” She says with squinted eyes, if Regina answers to that then she will have a pretty good idea of what is going on here.

“That’s better. Also, an apology is in order.”

“For what?”

“Assaulting me in my bedroom. Then you are going to explain who you are and how you got into my house.”

“I’m sorry,” she was debating on how she should tell her who she is. She obviously didn’t remember they were married and she couldn’t tell her she was Snow White’s daughter, not when she has magic. “I… urm… I’m your roommate and I’m sorry for what I did upstairs, it’s just that your beauty astounds me every single day,” at least the last bit was the truth.

She was going to kill Zelena when she got her hands on her. Their little prank war started with silly little things like replacing sugar with salt and ruining cups of tea or placing advertisements for illicit sex in the local paper along with the redheads phone number, (Emma was particularly proud of that one), but this had gone too far. The conniving witch had wiped Regina’s memories.

Regina was going to kill Rumple when he found him, the greasy imp had given him a roommate and a child in this new world. “Just make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

For some reason the Evil Queen persona that she knew used to be her wife’s identity was doing strange but wonderful things to her insides. She had to be smart about this and not spook her too much so that she started freaking out and using her magic. “I’ll just get ready and then I’ll take Henry to school.”

“Henry?” Regina’s eyebrows scrunch and all she could think of was her father.

It broke Emma’s heart that Regina couldn’t even remember her own son. “Our… I mean your son.”

Regina looked back towards the door the boy had walked through, “my son,” she breathed out with a faint smile on her lips. She never thought she would ever have a child, not since she drank the potion that had made her barren. 

Emma turned to start back up the stairs to get ready for work, promising herself that she was going to crucify Zelena before lunchtime. 

Once she was ready and most of the pain had subsided from her pelvic region she went to the kitchen to get Henry, who was digging into his second bowl of chocolatey cereal. Regina was sitting on a stool opposite him, smiling at the young man like he was the antidote to every illness in the world.

“Hey, kid, it’s time for school. Grab your bag and I’ll drop you off.” Emma instructs him. The smile immediately falls from the brunettes face when she realises she is going to be parted from her son, even though she has no memory of him that predates their first encounter in the hallway.

“Okay. I’ll see you later, mom. I hope you feel better.” He gives Regina a kiss on her cheek before grabbing his bag and making his way outside to the police cruiser parked in the driveway.

Regina smiles at being called mom but it soon fades when he disappears through the door.

“You’re going to be late for work.” Emma points out to Regina, hoping that she at least remembers she is Mayor of the town.

“Yes, of course. I need to be on time… to do Mayor things.”

Emma is thankful that she seems to remember that, even if she doesn’t remember her family. The urge to lean in and kiss her like she does every morning before she leaves for work is overwhelming but she knows that would only make things worse for the already confused brunette.

“I’ll see you later,” she says in lieu of kissing her and whispering her undying love, as she would on any other day.

Regina gives a curt nod and Emma hesitates for a moment before sighing and following their already departed son out of the door. When she gets in the cruiser she wants to do nothing more than punch the steering wheel in frustration, but seen as Henry is in the passenger seat she settles for sighing and running her hand through her hair.

“What’s wrong with mom? She doesn’t seem herself.” He asks in his squeaky teenage voice.

“She didn’t sleep well and she isn’t feeling very well this morning. Don’t worry about her though, she’ll be back to her normal self in no time.” She didn’t like lying to him but hopefully by the time he had finished his school day everything would be back to normal. 

The rest of the ride to Storybrooke High was spent with Henry fiddling with the radio, switching between stations until he found a song he liked, as Emma nervously tapped on the steering wheel as she concocted a thousand different ways to get away with Zelena’s murder, she was the Sheriff so it shouldn’t be that hard.

“Mom… MOM…” Henry shouts to get her attention.

“Huh?”

“I said I’ll see you later.”

“Oh , yeah. See you later, Henry. Have a good day in school,” she answers when she realises they had pulled up outside the school and he was waiting for an answer.

When he got out she drove straight to Zelena’s farmhouse instead of to the Sheriff’s office, determined to sort things out.

“Zelena! Zelena!” Emma angrily shouts as she hammers her fist against the door.

“Who are you?” The redhead asks as she opens the door, torturing the blonde a little more.

“That’s not funny,” Emma fumes, “Regina doesn’t remember who Henry or I am.” She barges past her beyond annoying sister-in-law.

“Yes, well, I’ve had to change my bloody phone number since your stupid bloody prank.”

“Changing your phone number, your wife forgetting who you are,” Emma mocks as she balances her hands on either side of her body, as if weighing something up. “Those are two completely different things. You have taken this way too far and you need to sort it out right now!”

“But the fun has only just begun. You may have started this with your silly little salt in the tea trick but I’m going to end this,” she finishes with a sickly sweet smile.

“Again, salt in you tea… my wife not remembering me or Henry,” she does the balancing motion with her hands again as if she was Lady Justice herself, “it’s not exactly fair.”

“Awww… did someone not get their morning nookie? Is that why you’re being so ratty?” She asks with a fake pout.

“No, I did not, but that’s besides the point.” Emma answers with a huff as she defensively crosses her arms. “Give my wife her memory back.” 

“I’ve done my dear sister a favour in making her forget your hideous leather jacket collection.”

“First of all, fuck you, and second of all, fuck you,” the blonde retorts as her simmering anger begins to boil.

“I think I’ll pass but thanks for the offer.” The redhead says with a wink.

“Zeleeeeena!” Emma petulantly whinges as she throws her arms in the air. “Please!”

“One good turn deserves another,” the devious woman says with an evil grin. “If I do this for you, what will you do for me?”

“I don’t owe you anything! Just give my wife her memories back!”

“Urm… I will be doing you a favour so you need to do something back for me. Duh.”

“For fucks sake.” Emma knows there is no point in arguing with her, she would always end up losing. “Fine, what do you want in return?”

“I’m glad you asked,” she says with a wide, toothy grin that set Emma’s nerves on edge. This wasn’t going to be good. “I need driving lessons.”

“No. No. Absolutely not. No way.” She shakes her head in fear. The first, last, and only time she had taken Zelena for a driving lesson they had ended up engine first in the pond next to the park, terrifying the local wildlife and the children that were feeding the ducks.

“Why not?” She innocently asks with a quirked lip.

“For the same reason I stopped giving you lessons to begin with. You almost killed us both!”

“Don’t be so dramatic. I used magic and we were out of there and dry in seconds,” she argues.

“That is besides the point. You are a menace when you are behind the wheel and it is my job to keep the town and its citizens safe. Anyway, you don’t need to drive you can just poof yourself wherever you want to do.”

“I am trying to be more normal and fit in with this town. No one else will take me.”

“Correction; no one will take you and that includes me,” she says with finality.

“Okay. Well, I do hope you enjoy celibacy,” she says before vanishing in a cloud of green smoke.

“Zelena! Zelena!” She shouts into the air after the departed woman. “Fine. Okay, I’ll do it,” she shouts when she finally relents to the crazy woman’s demands. The redhead doesn’t reappear and there is no sign of green smoke. She curses herself for not just agreeing to the driving lessons straight away. Now she knows the redhead will keep her waiting and stewing, not knowing when her wife would be returned to normal.


	2. Strangers- Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is just a bit of fun and silliness and a bit different from anything else I have written, so I hope it will be enjoyed. There is talk of mental illness, but not in a serious way. I'm not poking fun or making light of mental illness in anyway and I hope it comes across the way I have intended it to.

Regina could barely concentrate on her work. She knew exactly what she had to do as Mayor, it was automatically ingrained in her, that was all part of the curse. When it transported them to this land they all knew their place and what they had to do, as if it was the only life they had ever had. That's why she couldn't concentrate, she had no recollection of the blonde oaf or the handsome young man that was apparently her son. She wasn't like the denizens that were brought over, she was the damn Queen! She was awake and she should know who everyone is. The other thing that she couldn't seem to get her head around was the fact that her supposed roommate had called her 'your majesty.' Did that mean the blonde remembered her? If so, why did she try to get intimate with her? She should know better than to try and take from the Queen. She was the one that took what she wanted from everyone else! She couldn't take it anymore, she had to go speak to the devilish imp and find out what the hell was going on. 

 

"I'm out for the rest of the day. Cancel all of my meetings!" She commanded her assistant as she walked past the timid woman, her heels clacking on the marble floor of the government building as she left. She was a woman on a mission. This was her happy ending and she needed answers.

 

"You," she all but growls as she steps into his store, sending the little bell into frantic ringing before she slams it closed behind her. "What have you done?"

 

"Hello, Regina. I'm afraid you are going to have to be a little more specific." They weren't exactly friends but over the years they had developed a mutual respect for each other and so they didn't tend to have run-ins anymore.

 

"You know what you've done," she says angrily as she slams her hands down on the counter. He looks at her like he really doesn't know what she's talking about. "You don't know?" She asks a little calmer. The look on his face seemed genuine.

 

"I'm afraid not, but if you would care to elaborate..." He gestures with his hand.

 

"The woman in my house... the blonde." Shit, what was her name? She was sure she had told her it this morning but her mind was a little distracted by the fact she had been accosted on her own bed.

 

"Emma, you mean?"

 

"Yes, that one!" Ah jackpot... that was it, Emma.

"You mean your wife?" Something had obviously happened to Regina, but what? Storybrooke had become a peaceful town and not much happened anymore. They hadn't been plagued by monsters or villains for a few years. There was no reason for the Mayor to be acting like this. 

 

"She is not my wife!" She furiously shouts. "I don't even remember her," she says more quietly to herself.

 

He looks at her in thought for a moment and then it hits him. This had to be the work of Zelena, that woman was trouble personified. He knew of the little prank war going on between her and the Sheriff. Everyone knew about it since the small business cards offering the redheads 'services' had begun appearing around town. He didn't want to get involved with any of this, his days of villainy were well and truly over. Now he was a simple antique dealer with a wife and son and that's how he liked it. He had to play stupid so he could be left in peace.

 

"No, of course she isn't. It's simply what she is referred to because of her desire for you. It's well known." 

 

That seems to appease the brunette who slumps a little, her anger and frustration fizzling out just a little bit. Gold seemed to be asleep. If he was awake he would surely gloat over her misery. That didn't help her though. This curse was meant to give her a happy ending but how could it when she didn't even know the two people she apparently shares her home with. She didn't like not knowing. Not knowing meant a lack of control. With a sigh she leaves the store without saying anything else. 

 

She walks aimlessly down main street, not sure what to do. If this was the result of the curse she cast then maybe there was a reason for the blonde to be there. She was happy that she had a son. She smiled when she thought of the young man. That part worked out well for her. It would have been nice if he was a baby but she thought it was the best seen as she didn't really have any experience with young children. She quickly made up her mind to go back to her mansion and search for clues there. Maybe something there would enlighten her to the previous life of her roommate. It was only early afternoon so her son, the thought of him caused a flutter in her heart, should still be in school. This Emma person, the thought of her caused a coiling in her lower stomach, should be in work. She had seen them pulling away in the cruiser that morning so she supposed Emma had to be the town Sheriff and would be busy at work, so she should have the house to herself.

 

The first thing she does when she enters the mansion is swiftly walk up the stairs to look for her roommates room, that should hold some clues. She opens the first door that is further down the hallway after her own room, and that sweet flutter is back in her heart. This was obviously her sons room. She stood in the doorway, a soft smile pulling at her lips. It was exactly what one expect of a young man’s room. There was a bookshelf filled to the brim with a variety of genres, a laptop was laying closed upon the desk, and various other paraphernalia was laying around. She wanted to explore the room and learn everything she could about him from the clues in his room. Instead she walks out, closing the door behind her. She would never violate her sons trust or privacy.

 

The blonde oaf though? She had no qualms about violating her trust or privacy. There was one door left, right at the end of the hallway. She would get her answers in there. Her heart sank when she opened the door to see an immaculate looking room with no personal touches to it at all. She steps further into the room as if that extra few inches would all of a sudden bring some magical answers her way. Scrunching her eyebrows she decides to look a little closer. There is nothing in the drawer of the nightstand, there's not even anything in the wardrobe. This was the only other room that could be the blondes. 

 

She scratches her head as she heads to her own room, no closer to getting any answers. She sits on the edge on her bed and rubs her face in frustration. This was her curse, there shouldn't have been any surprises. Even if the surprise did have strong, muscular arms that could lift her up like she weighed nothing. She balls her hands into fists and slams them down on the bed on either side of her. She didn't want to think like that about the woman.

 

"What the..." she whispers as she reaches for the framed picture on her nightstand. Staring back at her are three smiling faces; her own, her sons, and the oaf. They all look so happy, they look like a family. 

 

Instead of things becoming clearer they were getting more confusing. She needed some answers and she needed them now. She rushes over to the built-in wardrobe and flings the door open, not the side she had opened earlier that morning that contained her clothes, but the other side. What she finds inside makes her gasp. The clothes are definitely not hers, she had a thing for leather in the Enchanted Forest but she wouldn't be caught dead in these atrocities . Her heart beats faster, these looked like they would fit the blonde.

 

Like a mad woman she starts opening drawers, not sure what she's looking for, maybe just something that would confirm why she appeared to be sharing a wardrobe with the other woman. The biggest surprise comes when she opens the trunk under the bed. Well shit. She's had similar items kept in a special chest in her chambers in the castle but that was because she would make sure she had a different bedfellow each night. She couldn’t figure out why she would need them in this land, maybe her lovers from the Enchanted Forest would continue to be her lovers here.

The sound of the door opening and slamming closed downstairs pulls her out of her frantic hunt for clues. "Shit," she curses before scampering out of the room and making sure the door is firmly closed behind her.

 

"MOM," Henry shouts from the foyer as he drops his backpack on the floor.

 

"Hello, dear," she greets from the top of the stairs, trying to keep her voice level.

 

"Are you feeling any better?"

 

She smiles at the fact thay he genuinely cares for her. It's been so long since anyone has cared for her. "I am. I'm just a little tired."

 

"I’m glad you are feeling better. I'm going to the mall with Nick. Can I have some money to grab something to eat there, please?"

 

"Of course, darling. My purse is in my bag." She wanted to talk to him and get to know him but right now she needed the space to figure things out so she allowed his request.

 

"Thanks, mom!" He replies cheerfully before going into her purse and grabbing a couple of notes. "See you later!" He shouts before turning on his heels and running out of the door.

She felt deflated after he left. She had no one to talk to and try to get answers from. Trying to contact the oaf was out of the question because she had obviously lied to her this morning. With a sigh she makes her way to the kitchen for an extra-large glass of her famous apple cider. Two gulps in and the doorbell rings. "What I wouldn't give for a good public flaying right now," she mutters to herself as she walks to the front door. 

 

A tall redhead with bright blue eyes and a spine-chilling grin that wouldn't be out of place in a mental institute is standing on the other side of the door when she opens it.

 

"Hello?" She says in her authoritative Mayoral tone. It took her a moment but then she remembered her... she is Dr Green and she works in the psyche ward of the hospital. That explains the smile.

 

"Oh, hello," Zelena greets with as much innocence as she can muster, which wasn't very much. 

 

When she cast the spell to remove Regina's two loves from her memory she also removed herself but she gave herself a new identity as a clinical psychologist. It was all part of her backup plan in case Emma stubbornly refused to give her driving lessons. Seen as that was exactly what her sister-in-law had done she decided to put her backup plan into action. "I've come for the check-up appointment for the outpatient. I must say it was very kind of you to take her into your home as she readjusts back into society. Like I told you before, it will be the quickest and most effective way for her to become a stable and effective member of society." 

 

Now things were starting to make sense to Regina. The oaf was crazy! That explains her behaviour that morning, and why she doesn't remember her from the Enchanted Forest, she would never have spent time or associate with someone that belonged in a mental institute. She couldn't recall having agreed to this appointment with Dr Green but people forget things all the time, that was quite normal. Yes, yes... this was good. She could get the psychologist to fill in the blanks in her mind and then she would be back in control.

 

"Please, come in," she offers with a Cheshire cat smile as she steps back to make room for the Doctor.

 

As they walked into the kitchen she makes a beeline for the almost empty glass of cider and puts it in the sink, making sure to use her body to block the Doctors view. It wouldn't do for the woman to catch her day drinking. “Tea?” she offers her guest as she turns back from the sink.

 

“Ooh, lovely. Thank you.”

 

She sets about making the hot beverage as Zelena sits at the dining table and begins pulling out official looking papers from her bag. “I thought we could just go over the rules I asked you to make sure Emma sticks to and we can see how they are helping her. Does that sound good to you?”

 

“Yes, sounds good.” Rules sounded wonderful, that would help her to be able to control the oaf. No… Emma, she reminded herself. Emma was obviously mentally ill so it seemed cruel to keep referring to her as ‘the blonde’ or ‘the oaf,’ even if she had only been doing that in her own head.

 

“Thank you,” Zelena praises for the cup of tea placed in front of her. “Okay… does Emma still believe you are her wife and that Henry is her son?”

 

Regina thinks back to this morning, Emma had definitely thought they were together but she did seem to change her mind about it after the knee to her groin and she did take Henry to school so she obviously behaved like a parent towards him. “It comes and goes,” she answers vaguely.

 

“Hmm okay, well it’s still early days. Remember that I told you it is important you draw very clear boundaries when it comes to the relationship she believes she has with you. It’s okay to let Henry keep treating her as his mom for now. It’s more important that we focus on her obsession with you.” Zelena hadn’t been stupid enough to mess with Henry’s memories by including him in this spell. She knew she would have to eventually put everything back to normal and when she does Regina would not forgive her for messing with her darling boy. He was out of bounds.

 

Regina didn’t remember anything of the sort but all her other memories seemed to be intact so she wasn’t going to worry too much about that. “Yes, of course,” she easily lies.

 

“Excellent. So just make sure that Emma stays in the spare bedroom. I’m sure at this early stage in her rehabilitation she will try to stay with you at night but she needs to know that is not okay. These boundaries will soon tear through her fixation with you and after that we can continue with the plan to work on dealing with her multiple personalities.” Zelena looks down at the paperwork she had magically created in her bag with a flick of her wrist when she walked up the path to the mansion, she wasn’t sure she would be able to hold back her laughter if she saw the look on her sisters face at being told Emma had multiple personalities.

 

Regina clears her throat, she hadn’t been expecting that. “Urm… sure.”

 

“Oh, I almost forgot… I have brought her new medication with me.” She digs around in her bag for the bottle of laxatives that she had conjured up at the same time as the fake paperwork. She had of course made sure the label on the bottle looked professional so that no one would know they were laxatives. “She will need to take two tablets every fours hours,” that was over twice the recommended dose but that just made it even more hilarious for the redhead, “and don’t let her do it herself. She always tries to get out of taking her tablets but remember what that lead to last time?” Zelena muses with a shake of her head.

 

She wanted to scream at the chatty woman that she didn’t remember a single thing but of course she couldn’t do that. She was the Mayor and apparent guardian of the fruit loop, no, not fruit loop… Emma, she reminds herself to be kind to the troubled woman.

 

“So make sure you administer the tablets and stay with her as she takes them. Don’t forget to check her mouth in case she tries to cheek them.”

 

A simple nod is all the confirmation she gets from her sister who is looking paler by the second.

 

“Oh and with these new tablets you will have to watch what she eats. Sugars and fats can interfere with their potency as they get digested so you will have to put her on a strict diet. She can only eat the foods on this sheet,” she says as she passes her a piece of paper with basically just fruits and vegetables on. Emma was going to hate this she thinks to herself in complete delight. “And definitely no alcohol, okay?”

 

“Yes, I will make sure she takes her tablets, eats healthy and no drinking,” Regina confirms back to her.

 

“Excellent! And don’t worry, they won’t impair her driving so we can continue to let her drive around in the cruiser and play Sheriff. The need to feel important is imperative in her recovery.” 

 

She had planned all this after Emma’s prank but even she was impressed with herself at how she was pulling some of this nonsense form the air. 

 

“Has there been any odd behaviour that has concerned you, that you wish to talk about?”

 

“This morning she tried to… urm… be intimate with me and I barged my knee into her…” she gestures towards her crotch, “after that she seemed to change and behave a little more normally. Why is that?”

 

“Ahhh yes, in cases such as this, a short, sharp, shock to the body has been found to be beneficial to the patients. It jerks them from their fantasy land and snaps them back into reality. So don’t be afraid to do it if you feel the need. Perhaps even a slap to the face will bring her back to normality if need be.” Oh god she was enjoying this! This was the best plan she had ever come up with she decides.

 

“Right, I will keep that in mind,” Regina agrees. This all seemed very odd but she didn’t know the ways of this land and she needed to keep up pretences, so she will to as the Doctor suggests.

 

“I should be on my way. I have other patients to see. You know where to find me if you have any issues.” She was conscious of the time and that the blonde would be home soon. She didn’t want to stick around and get caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

 

Regina sees her out of the house and she leans back against the door when she’s closed it. Things made more sense than this morning but she couldn’t understand why she would have agreed to take care Emma in the first place.


	3. Rabbit food

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma thinks of a way to bring it all to an end and get her wife back.

Emma sits in her cruiser outside the mansion for a few minutes before she gathers the courage to make her way into her home. She has no idea what to expect when she enters. She had hoped that Zelena had done the right thing and put everything back to normal but she knew the devious woman too well to let that kind of hope build up in her too much. She would normally shout out for her wife when she returns from work but she wasn’t sure if that was a good idea, given the way things went down between them that morning. She lets herself in and stands in the foyer for a second, listening out for any signs on her wife's presence. The tell-tale sounds of chopping can be heard coming from the kitchen. At least she was going to be getting a good meal, Monday night was always lasagne and her wife made the best lasagne ever.

 

"Hello," is all she says to her wife when she enters the kitchen, she wasn't sure what to call her so she keeps it simple.

 

"Oh, hello," Regina formally acknowledges her, no hint of familiarity in her voice. Emma's gut twists when Regina looks at her like she was nothing more than a stranger. "Dinner will be ready soon. if you would like to go clean up, please." She was calmer than she had been that morning and for that, Emma was relieved. "Henry called to say he will be back by nine," she called after Emma, who was going to the bathroom to wash up.

Regina watches her leave and has to shake her head at herself when she realises she is perving on the blondes perky ass. “Such a shame,” she quietly mumbles to herself. If Emma didn’t have the problems Dr Green had described to her she would forego their dinner and drag the blonde upstairs to her bedroom. God knows she was as horny as hell and little did she realise she has missed out on their usual morning fun.

That was a small blessing she thought to herself as she washes her hands, the less Henry was around whilst Regina was like this, the better. On re-entering the kitchen her eyes immediately fall on the dining table, expecting to see her wife's delicious lasagne. To her dismay , in the centre of the table is a large bowl with what looks like something a squirrel would store to see itself through winter in it. "What's that?" Emma points to the bowl with a disgruntled look on her face.

"It's a superfood salad," Regina proudly replies, ignoring the look on the blondes face. She was sure that if she follows Dr Green's instructions then maybe the blonde would be rehabilitated even more quickly than they thought possible and she could have her home back and start enjoying the happy ending that she had sacrificed so much for.

"So, it's not lasagne?" The blonde dishearteningly asks. She just wanted complete clarification that there really wasn't any lasagne anywhere to be found.

"Lasagne? Absolutely not. All that greasy cheese, no way," Regina replies with a shake of her head.

 

Emma's stomach loudly rumbles at the mention of greasy cheese, or was it to protest at the superfood salad?.

 

"Oh good, you are hungry. Please help yourself," Regina says as she takes a seat at the table and gestures towards the bowl of nutritious food.

 

Emma sits down and pulls the bowl of lentils and vegetables towards herself with trepidation. It wasn't exactly the right time to cause a fuss so she scoops a couple of ladles of it onto her plate before taking a tentative mouthful.

 

Regina was looking at her with such hopefulness in her eyes that Emma just couldn't deny her it. "Mmmm… delicious." She lies as she forces herself to swallow it down.

 

"Wonderful," Regina acknowledges with a giant smile. Yes, everything was going well.

 

The blonde needs something to wash away the taste in her mouth. There is a jug of water on the table, as per usual but she needs something with a bit of taste. "I'm going to get a beer, would you like some wine?" They usually only drank with dinner if it was a weekend or if they had company or if it had been a particularly taxing day, which it most definitely had been.

 

Regina had wanted wine but she had purposely not had a glass because the blonde wasn't allowed any alcohol so she was trying to set a good example. "Let's not bother with any of that. Let's have some water," she offers as she leans over to fill Emma's glass and then pours some into her own before Emma could disagree.

 

She felt like she was twelve again. She wanted to stomp and throw a tantrum. It felt like Satan himself had constructed her day. No, not Satan... someone even worse... Zelena. It had to be her. She had obviously gotten to Regina somehow. When all this was over she was going to lock Zelena up and put her mother on guard duty, that would be enough to make her think twice about pulling this sort of stunt again. That thought put a devious smile on her face, the thing that Zelena hated most in the world was Mary Margaret's sunny disposition.

 

Regina's phone starts ringing from the kitchen counter so she gets up and looks at the screen, "sorry, it's work." She answers the call and walks through to the lounge to take it in privacy.

 

Emma quickly jumps into action, she needs some sort of condiment to ads some flavour to her rabbit food. Her wife never allowed her or Henry to add sauce to their food, she thought it was an insult to her cooking if they did so. She opens a cupboard and rummages through it, spotting the hot sauce that only got used when they had takeout’s. As she grabs it she knocks over a small bottle of tablets. Picking them up she can see the prescription is in her name and it was prescribed by a 'Dr Green.' "Hell no," she mumbles out loud. She knows Zelena well enough to know that whatever was in there wouldn't be good for her seen as it appeared to be another part of her sister-in-law’s trickery. What the hell had that witch been up to today? It's at times like that she wishes she had taken her magic lessons with her wife more seriously. All she had ever learnt to do was strip them both with a flick of her wrist and that never lead to productive lessons. Well, not productive in the magic sense. 

She knows Henry's multivitamins are kept in the same cupboard somewhere. He may be sixteen but Regina made sure he took them every day. She empties the contents on the bottle with her name on it into the bin and pours some of Henry's multivitamin tablets into it. When she hears the lounge door opening she quickly puts the bottle back in the cupboard, her plan of adding flavour to her meal has now passed. She manages to get back to her seat just before Regina walks back in.

 

"Sorry about that. Someone wanted to rearrange a council meeting for another day," Regina offers as an explanation for rudely walking out on their dinner. 

 

"No, problem," Emma replies. They eat their dinner in companionable silence, neither of them sure of what to say. Emma found it frustrating, she knows that Zelena won't keep this going for too long, just enough to drive her crazy and she already felt like she was at that point!

 

After dinner Emma offered to do the washing up, as was their usual routine, not that Regina knew that.

 

The apprehensive Mayor hung about in the kitchen, she wasn't sure if she had to be sneaky about getting Emma to take her tablets or if she should be direct about it. Thinking back to what Dr Green had told her she decided that being direct was definitely better. 

 

When Emma has finished washing the dishes, she wipes her hands on the hand towel and turns around to face her wife. "So..." she dreaded this part. If this morning was anything to go by there wouldn't be any cuddling on the couch as they watched TV and there definitely wouldn't be any sharing a bed tonight. With a sigh she rubs her forehead, not sure what to say.

 

"How about we get you your tablets and then I can go and finish up some of the work that I need to get done before tomorrow." She almost felt bad for lying to the woman who looked at her with such reverence, not even Daniel had looked at her like that. She didn’t have any work to do, even after only working half a day. She was so efficient and organised that she was always ahead of what needed to be done, but it was a good excuse to lock herself away in her study and avoid her house guest. 

 

"Okay, sure," Emma answers dishearteningly.

 

"Great." Regina turns around and opens the cupboard she had earlier stored the medication in.   
When she reaches up to retrieve the small bottle Emma has to bite her tongue to hold back the excited gasp at watching the royal blue material of her wife's dress hitch up a little and cradle her prominent backside as if it were painted on. On any other day she would rush up behind the smaller woman and take her right there and then but she wasn't willing to chance another knee to the groin.

 

"Here we are," Regina says through a smile, turning around with the bottle in her hand, "you need to take two now and then another two in four hours, before bed."

 

Emma's nods and accepts the two pills. She was beyond relieved that she had found the tablets earlier otherwise who knows what the hell she would have been swallowing and what the consequences would have been.

 

"Let me just get you a glass of water to wash them down with," Regina kindly offers. As Queen she would never have done anything so lowly as fetch someone a glass of water, even as Mayor she wouldn’t do such a thing, but there was something about the vulnerable woman that seemed to bring out the best in her, knee to the crotch incident aside of course. She may have somehow stumbled into this situation but now that she was in it she wanted to make sure that she took proper care of the blonde.

 

Emma continues to stand with her hand held in front of her, the two multivitamins sitting in her palm as Regina fills a glass from the draining board, with water. She offers the glass to Emma with a smile and the blonde accepts it, returning the smile except that there is something more in her eyes. She chucks the tablets in her mouth and washes them down with a big gulp of water. 

 

Regina doesn't move from the spot in front of her as she watches her intently, expecting Emma to open her mouth so she can check that she has definitely swallowed her tablets.

 

The silent staring contest continues for a few moments before Emma realises what Regina is waiting for. With a sigh she opens her mouth and sticks her tongue out, earning a satisfied smile from her wife. She feels like she is back in prison and being checked over so that she doesn't use her medication for currency in the prison yard.

 

"Wonderful," Regina praises, happy to be done with her babysitting duties for now. "I'll be in my office if you need me. Why don't you watch some TV until bedtime?" She was aware that she sounded patronising but the only other way she knew how to speak to people was with cruel sarcasm and for some strange reason, that she couldn’t pinpoint, she really didn’t want to be like that with Emma.

 

"Sure," Emma nods before walking out of the kitchen and to the lounge. This was not how she wanted to be spending her evening. She throws herself onto the couch and sighs when she hears the door to Regina's office closing. It had only been twelve hours since all of this had happened but she was missing her wife terribly. She puts the TV on and mindlessly clicks through the channels, unable to find anything she wants to watch. Regina would usually be in charge of the remote control and find some random documentary. Emma wasn't usually interested in her wife's choices but she just enjoyed that the brunette would snuggle into her and she would get to hold her, so it didn't matter what they watched. Seen as that was out of the question she puts Netflix on and clicks onto one of their favourite shows, 'the Good Place.' Regina hadn't liked the premise of the show at first, the whole idea of bad people having to go to the bad place unsettled her, but once Emma pointed out that they were already in the 'good place' because they had each other, Regina came around to the idea. They had binged watched all the episodes in one weekend and would re-watch the show every now and then. Emma felt she could do with cheering up so she put on the first episode and settled into the couch.

 

Instead of feeling better by the end of the episode she just felt worse because she wasn't sharing the experience with her wife. With a huff she pulls out her phone from her pocket and dials Zelena. She would try pleading with the redheaded tyrant, not that she expected it to work, but she had to try. She turns the volume on the TV down a little but she leaves it on so that Regina wouldn't be able to hear the conversation.

 

She waits patiently as the phone rings and rings before it takes her through to voicemail. "Hey Zee. I just wanted a quick word with you, call me when you get a chance. Bye." That sounded light and breezy she thought. She knew she wouldn't get a call back if she left her an angry voicemail. She turns the volume back up on the TV and continues to watch the show, casting glances at her phone that is laying on the cushion besides her, silently begging for it to ring.

 

After the second episode has ended and she still hadn't heard back from her sister-in-law she decides to try calling again. Once again, unsurprisingly, it goes through to voicemail and Emma has to bite her cheek to stop herself from saying something she shouldn't. "Hey, it’s me again. You usually get back to me pretty quickly so I hope you are okay. Just call me whenever you can."

 

She throws her phone to the other side of the couch and puts the heels of her hands to her eyes. "Fucking stupid fucker," she curses in frustration. She could just imagine Zelena sitting at home and smiling every time her phone rings with Emma's name popping up on the screen as she purposely ignores the calls. She decides that she can't just sit back and wait for Zelena to get bored and reverse the spell, she has to do something but she doesn't know what that is. 

She's chewing on her thumbnail when it hits her!

 

She quietly sneaks out of the room, not wanting Regina to hear her. The brunette had been treating her like a child throughout dinner so she wasn't sure if the brunette would be okay with her leaving the mansion. She grabs both hers and Regina's sets of keys from the key bowl and stealthily exits through the front door. She runs down the path and out of the garden gate to her car down the road. It was at times like this she was happy that Regina refused to let her keep her 'eyesore' of a car in the driveway or in front of the house, otherwise she might have been caught when she turned on the very loud engine. After the third attempt the engine finally roars to life and she is quickly heading down the road to the one person who could help her. After a quick stop at Granny’s diner for a burger and fries, that is.


	4. Payback

With a stomach full of greasy delights, courtesy of Granny’s Diner, Emma runs across to Gold’s Pawn Shop. He usually works late into the night and if the light shining through the entrance was anything to go by, tonight was no different.

“Gold! Gold!” Emma shouts as she rushes in through the door, forcefully shutting it behind her, “where are you?”

“Well if I’m not in the front, that only leaves the back. What would Storybrooke do without you as their sheriff?” He sarcastically whispers to himself as he examines a diamond necklace through a magnifying glass.

Emma storms into the back room, “there you are.”

“Here I am. I’m so glad I took my invisibility cloak off, otherwise you would have never have found me,” the sarcasm continues to pour from his lips.

“I need something from you.”

“Please feel free to browse the store. I will happily ring up whatever you wish to purchase.”

“No… it’s nothing like that. I need something that you specialise in,” she says with a wink that makes her look like she was starved of oxygen in the womb.

“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.” He lies.

“I need a confinement potion.”

“I know Regina can be a bit of a bitch but does she really need to be imprisoned?” He knew this was nothing to do with Regina but he’d had a shit of a day and he wanted to take it out on someone and that someone just happened to rush in through his door and bug him when he was in the middle of an appraisal.

Emma clenches her jaw and her fists as she spits her words out, “if you use that word about my wife again I promise you that tomorrow you will be shitting out your teeth out like undigested tic tacs.”

“What a colourful picture you paint,” he clears his throat, realising he had overstepped the mark with the protective Sheriff. “So, what do you need this confinement potion for?”

“To cure my ‘ginger twat’ problem.”

“Ooooh I don’t want to get involved with that mess. I wiped my hands of that sort of nonsense when my son came along.”

Emma didn’t want to do this, she really didn’t. When she and Belle got drunk one night and Belle spilled Gold’s proclivities she had desperately tried to scrub her mind clear of the vivid image. “Fair enough, I understand. If I want to get Zelena off my back I need to give her a new target. I suppose she would be happy to go after someone that has a penchant for furry butt plugs and who enjoys being called ‘a good little pony’.” She cant help but look smug when Gold almost chokes on his own saliva. Belle had sworn her to secrecy the very next day when she realised she had divulged one of their marital secrets and technically Emma was keeping that secret, no one who didn’t know about it before now knew of it.

“Urm.. well, we wouldn’t want Zelena to keep terrorising the citizens of Storybrooke. I just so happen to have a confinement potion to hand.”

“Yeahhhh,” Emma drawls out, “somehow, I thought you would.”

After pocketing the potion and swearing to keep her mouth shut about Belle and Gold’s bedroom activities, Emma heads towards her parents apartment. Part two of her plan would soon be in motion.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

“Emma, sweetie, what are you doing here?” Marry Margaret asks in surprise when she opens the door to her apartment after some fierce knocking.

“I need your help, mom.” She feels like a complete shit for using that particular word to curry favour with the woman who had only become her mother a few years ago. She felt even worse for using her bright green puppy dog eyes that she knew Mary Margaret could never resist.

“Oh, my baby girl. Come in. I will help you however I can, whatever you need.” The pixie haired woman promises as she ushers her daughter inside the apartment.

“You know those rumours about Zelena soliciting herself?” Mary Margaret nods her head, she was one of a few that weren’t aware of the prank war between said escort and her daughter. “Well…. It seems she has turned to narcotics as well.” She should really feel bad about that particular lie but when she thinks about the uncomfortable meal she had wife her wife earlier, she doesn’t.

“Oh no, how awful! Does Regina know about this?”

“No, I have been trying to shield her from it until I can help Zelena.” She gives a sad smile for authenticity.

“Oh sweetheart, you are such a good wife and sister-in-law.”

“I do my best.” A small innocent shrug earns her a kind pat on her shoulder from Mary Margaret.

“So, tell me what you need me to do.”

“I have to go and arrest Zelena. She was spotted snorting cocaine from a man’s…well, you know,” her raised eyebrows and a point to her crotch area tells Mary Margaret everything she needs to know, “down the alley by Granny’s Diner.”

“Oh dear.” The brunette gasps as her hands shoot up to cover her mouth in horror.

“Yes, it’s very sad. But I was hoping that you would be able to keep her company when I have to put her in a cell. Not in there with her of course, just outside. She has always said how your voice, especially when you sing, brings her great comfort. Do you think you could do that for me… and Zelena?”

“That is not the first time I have been told by someone that my singing voice was enjoyable.” She dreamily says.

Emma tries to hide the look of shock on her face, her mother had a singing voice of a cat being strangled. She had seen first-hand how her little brother would cry more loudly when the brunette tried to comfort him. “Perfect! Sing to her until she falls asleep.” There was no way the redhead would be able to fall asleep with that inhumane whaling she wouldn’t be able to escape. “I’m going to go get her now. Do you think you could be in the station in about half an hour?”

“Of course. I’ll take Neal to Ashley’s and I’ll head straight over there. Hopefully your father will still be there and not out on patrol.”

After a quick thank you Emma leaves the apartment and gets into her car, heading towards Regina’s family vault with the pilfered set of keys.

She parks up outside of the cemetery and quickly scurries through the myriad of headstones until she reaches the vault. She knows exactly where Regina keeps the item that she wants. When they first started seeing each other in secret and Regina was trying to teach the blonde the basics of magic, the vault became their ‘love shack’ as Emma had dubbed it, to Regina’s annoyance. They had spent so much time down there that she knew where every potion and magic book was kept. She quickly locates and pockets the magic blocking cuff and heads back to her car.

Ten minutes later she’s pulling up in front of the nightmares farmhouse. Lights shinE in the windows, signalling its occupancy. She knocks on the door, not too hard or with as much urgency as she was feeling on the inside, she didn’t want to give Zelena a reason to disappear with a wave of her hand.

After a long few seconds of no answer she shouts through the door, “hey Zee, I really do need a quick word. I just need to talk to you, please.” It killed her to be polite when all she wanted to do was kick her in the vag.

“Ah Emma. If you needed to talk to me, you could have tried calling. It must be hard for you to not be near a toilet.” Zelena innocently replies when she opens the door.

She ignores the toilet comment, not understanding its relevance. And not caring. “I did try calling you but you didn’t answer,” she grits out.

“Oh… then you should have left a voicemail.”

“I did… twice.” That vag kick was look more and more appealing by the second but she didn’t want to do anything that could jeopardise getting her wife’s memory back, no matter how satisfying it would be.

“Well, never mind, you’re here now, I guess a lot of your time had been freed up. What can I do for you?” She was sure she could actually see the blondes blood pressure rising with every taunt she threw her way.

“There have been reports of a,” she steps a little closer, “mad cow on the loose,” she quickly pulls the cuff from behind her back and snaps it around Zelena’s wrist, “but it seems that problem has now been solved.” She then uses a standard pair of handcuffs to restrain the woman just in case her temper gets the better of her.

“What are you doing?” Zelena’s spits out at being bested by the blonde dimwit. “You can’t do this to me!”

“I’m taking you to the station for some special treatment and it would appear I can do this to you. You mess with my family and all bets are off.” Emma smiles wickedly as she grabs her wrist and drags her to the cruiser.

The way Emma says ‘special’ sets Zelena’s nerves on edge. “What do you mean special treatment? You can’t just arrest me, I’ve done nothing wrong!”

“You know what you’ve done wrong,” Emma accuses as she shuts the car door on the redhead in the back of the cruiser.

“Look… just take this thing off and I’ll give Regina her memory back, everything can go back to normal.” They both know that’s a lie. If Emma was to take that off now she would probably be turned into a jockstrap.

Emma had to stick to her guns and wear the redhead down until she was too broken to be a threat to her, something that Zelena wouldn’t easily forget and it would make her think twice about pulling a stunt like this again. “No. You need to understand what you have done to me.”

“Oh please. It’s only been half a day and you were working for most of that time,” Zelena retorts with a roll of her eyes.

“That’s half a day you have taken from me and my wife.”

“What’s half a day when you’ll be together for the rest of your lives together?” She really didn’t understand their constant need to be with each other every second of every day.

“Every moment with Regina means the world to me,” she says sincerely as she makes eye contact with the deviant through the rear-view mirror.

“You really are a wet blanket aren’t you?” She tries to cross her arms in annoyance but fails because of the handcuffs restricting her mobility, which only serves to annoy her even more.

A few minutes later they are pulling up in front of the station, where Emma parks up and pulls her prisoner from the back seat with only a bit of resistance. Without her magic the redheads physical strength is no match for the in shape officer.

“Oh hell no. What’s the smiley simpleton doing here?” Zelena exclaims when she spots Mary Margaret sitting on the couch near the cells.

“Hey mom, could you get me a water please?” She wanted her mom away from them for a moment so she could do what she needs to do.

“My mom is going to keep you company whilst you think about what you’ve done,” Emma smirks as she pushes her inside the cell and takes the handcuffs off her, leaving the magic binding cuff. “I will be back in the morning once you have had time to repent for your sins. She plucks the vial of confinement potion from her jacket pocket and sprinkles it around the cell.

“What’s that?”

“Confinement potion.”

“Don’t you think that’s a bit redundant given how I’m already imprisoned?”

“But I’m going to need to remove that cuff when you finally see things as I do so that you can makes things right. This will just make sure you are contained to do so and you won’t be able to escape until you’ve done what I need you to do.”

“I hope your night is just as miserable as mine is going to be.” Zelena spits out.

“It will be. I’ll be in the spare room without my wife.” That pulls a small, self-satisfied smile from Zelena.

“Here you go, sweetheart.” Mary Margaret arrives back in the room with a glass of water for her daughter. “Shall I get one for Zelena, or a tea?”

“You can get me a camomile tea, prissy pants.”

“No, she’s going cold turkey. She can’t drink or eat anything, we need to flush out her system.”

“Flush out my system? What are you on about?” She asks in confusion, unaware of the lies Emma has been spinning about her.

“Oh… is she high?” The brunette tentatively whispers to Emma as she looks over to the snarling redhead.

“Yeah. So just ignore any of the crazy stuff she says and remember mom… she has told me many times how she has always found your voice to be very soothing, so if she starts to play up or if she starts shouting… just sing to her, she’ll soon calm down.” Emma stares at Zelena, a giant shit eating grin on her face as she speaks to her mother.

“And they say I’m wicked! You are reprehensible! This is beyond cruel!” She stamps her feet and tries to shakes the bars.

“She seems a bit worked up to me, mom. Now would be a good time to start singing. She really likes Kum-ba-ya.” Emma takes a victory gulp of her water and leaves the room to the sound of Zelena promising to reverse her spell as Mary Margaret begins to sing/screech.

She wouldn’t be spending the night with her wife but this was the best insurance she could think of to make sure that Zelena would never do anything like this again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think there will be just one more chapter.


	5. Lesson learnt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter. I hope you have enjoyed this silly story of mine :)

Emma was relieved when her alarm went off the next morning at seven a.m. as per usual. All she had to do was get Regina to come with her to the station so she could confront the hopefully broken redhead and put an end to all the nonsense of the last twenty-four hours.

She hadn’t slept very well because she wasn’t used to sleeping without Regina or sleeping in the spare room. On top of that, Regina had woken her in the night to give her the ‘medication’ that Zelena had left for her. Emma had tried to insist that it wasn’t necessary in the middle of the night but with Regina being the stickler for rules that she is, there was no room for negotiating and in the end Emma submitted to her strong willed wife just so she could go back to trying to sleep so that morning would come around as quickly as possible.

With a yawn and a stretch she throws back the covers and heads for a cold shower to help settle her neglected libido that was suffering from the withdrawal symptoms of her wife for the second morning in a row.

Emma reluctantly eats the oatmeal Regina had prepared for their breakfast, with a dour look on her face the whole time. Henry had sweet talked his way into being allowed to have toast and jelly but Emma had no such luck when she tried. The only way she managed to eat her way through the entire bowl of gruel was to concentrate on the bear claw she was going to treat herself to later in the morning.

“Come on, kid. We had better get you to school,” Emma says as she places her dishes in the dishwasher. 

“I just need to grab my bag,” he replies before leaving the kitchen and vanishing up the stairs to his room.

“Would you mind swinging by the station before you go to work this morning. I need to go over something with you if you wouldn’t mind,” the blonde politely requests of her wife who is reading the newspaper and sipping on her morning coffee at the kitchen table.

Regina really wasn’t in the mood for playing the blondes games this morning, she was tired from her interrupted sleep as well. “I was going to go into work a little bit earlier today. I have a lot of work to catch up on she lies.” There was no work to catch up on but she didn’t feel like encouraging the blonde to play sheriff. 

“Please? I promise it won’t take long. It’s really important to me,” she begs. Maybe her pleading eyes reminded the brunette of their shared sons eyes because Regina felt herself give in and agree to be in the station before nine.

“Fantastic,” Emma happily sighs, and feels some on the tension that has made her body its home for the last twenty-four hours recede. It should be pretty straightforward from here on out; Regina turns up at the station, Emma removes the magic blocking cuff from Zelena, the redhead flicks her wrist, the spell is undone and they can live happily ever after and as a bonus Regina might want to exact a bit of revenge on her sister.

“I’m ready, mom,” Henry shouts from the foyer as he gets his coat on.

“I’ll see you in a bit,” Emma says with a smile to Regina.

Regina gives a tight lipped smile and a nod before once again focussing on whatever article it is that she is reading in the newspaper.

Emma couldn’t wait to have her sweet and loving wife back. The Regina of this morning and the day before was sadly similar to the woman she clashed heads with when she first rolled into town, cold and closed off. 

After dropping Henry off at school Emma grabs herself a bear claw and coffee from Granny’s before heading to the station. She really needs the sugar and caffeine to perk her up before dealing with the Beelzebub with breasts.

“Good morning, Emma,” Mary Margaret greets her daughter with a bit of a croaky voice, but still chipper as if she hadn’t been awake all night, when the blonde enters the station.

“Hey, mom,” she uses the title again because her mom definitely deserves it after the massive favour she had done for her. Her mother smiles sweetly at her and it unnerves her slightly because she has never been very good with either of her parents attention for too long. She quickly glances over to the cell to see Zelena with her fingers in her ears and her eyes closed tightly, her obvious attempt at blocking the brunette out. The sight makes Emma smile widely.

She makes her way to her office to take her police baton from her desk drawer and then she goes over to the cell where she bangs the steel rod loudly over the bars. That got the redheads attention. Bright blue eyes fly open and when she sees Emma she takes her fingers out of her ears and glares at her. It would have almost been scary if the caged woman didn’t look so tired and mentally broken. 

“I’ve got this from here, mom. You should go home and get some sleep,” Emma sensibly suggests.

“Are you sure? I have plenty more songs I didn’t have a chance to get through,” she chirpily replies.

“Go home and torture someone else you annoying gnat!” Zelena barks at the sugary sweet woman.

“Ooh someone’s in a bad mood. Maybe a few calming songs will put you in a better mood,” Emma taunts her sister-in-law, who looks like she’s on the verge of a mental breakdown.

“That won’t be necessary. I’m sorry I snapped at you,” she says demurely and she offers a fake smile to the brunette.

Emma had to stifle her laugh. The wicked witch had been broken by a night of her mother’s company and singing! At least she now knows what it takes to keep the troublemaker in line from now on. 

Once her mother had collected her coat and left, Emma sits on the arm of the couch that was outside the cell and smugly stares at Zelena with a shit eating grin. “So… did you have a good night?” She mockingly questions.

“I hate you and your entire bloodline!” She spits out at the blonde who raises an eyebrow. “Well, your bloodline going backwards. Luckily Henry has had my family’s influence,” she softly says, the venom disappearing from her words when she talks about Henry. She actually really adores her nephew. 

“Stop whining. You brought this on yourself,” Emma reprimands the sulking woman. “It’s time we called a truce. Regina is going to be here any minute now,” Emma informs her with a glance at the clock on the wall. “I’m going to take the cuff off and when she gets here I want you to do your hocus pocus and undo this spell. Once you’ve done that I’ll get Regina to undo the confinement spell on the cell and I’ll open the door so you will be free to go, okay?”

“Fine. Whatever,” the redhead petulantly relents, knowing she has lost this particular battle. She hadn’t taken into account Emma’s secret weapon that was a screeching Snow. She couldn’t abide the woman on the best of days let alone when she was trapped like an animal and being sang at by the demented do-gooder. 

“I’m sorry but that’s not going to do it. I need you to swear to a truce.” For all of Zelena’s bad points Emma knew she was a woman of her word. 

“Fine... a truce it is.” She rolls her eyes but she was glad it was all going to be over, mainly because it was no longer any fun when she wasn’t winning.

Emma reaches between the bars and unclasps the cuff from around Zelena’s wrist and shoves it into her jacket pocket just as the distinct clacking of heels can be heard getting louder in the corridor outside the office. Zelena makes a show of waving her hand in the air. “There you go… it’s all undone.”

Emma smiles and runs to the door, opening it just as Regina reaches for the handle. “Baby!” She exclaims before kissing the lips she has missed so much. “Shit,” she groans in pain a few seconds later as she grabs her crotch after being kneed in it for the second time in as many days. 

Regina felt bad for kneeing Emma in the crotch again but Dr Green had told her that a short, sharp shock was the best thing to bring her back to reality when she was having one of her episodes. 

Hysterical laughter from across the room catches Regina’s attention. “Dr Green?” She asks in confusion, wondering what the hell the woman could have done to get herself arrested and then wondering where the actual sheriff was.

Zelena was laughing too hard to answer her sister. She had to sit on the cot and try to catch her breath as Emma writhed in pain on the floor. 

“For fucks sake, Zelena! You gave me your word!” She spits out as she gets to her knees before finally grabbing onto the side of the desk and pulling herself up.

“I couldn’t resist,” she breathes out between bouts of laughter, completely proud of herself for tricking Emma and getting one over on her.

“What the hell is going on here?” Regina demands, now unnerved because of the doctors behaviour as well as Emma’s.

“Do it right now, Zelena, or I will call Mary Margaret and get her straight back over here.” Emma threatens as she reaches for her phone in her pocket.

“No, no, no… wait,” Zelena requests, all the laughter now gone. She waves her hand as Emma eyes her suspiciously.

“Emma,” Regina happily sighs, her voice now full of warmth and familiarity.

“Baby?” Emma suspiciously questions without moving any closer to the brunette. She wanted to make sure that Zelena hadn’t played another trick on her. She didn’t think her crotch could take it again.

“I’m sorry. I hurt you. I’m so sorry,” Regina apologises profusely as she reaches for her wife and pulls her into a hug.

“It’s your turn now, Emma. I kept my promise,” Zelena moans from the cell.

“You did this,” Regina points an accusatory finger at her sister. “You put a spell on me so that I would forget my family,” she seethes. 

“Bloody hell. It was just a joke. Your wife made the town think I was a hooker!”

Regina couldn’t help but laugh at that. She had actually put the idea for that particular prank in Emma’s head when the two women were messing with each other.

“So we are equal now. We’ve called a truce so let me out of here,” she tries to reason with her sister.

Regina looks at Emma who is still cupping her crotch and the day before flashes through her mind. She knew her sister hadn’t meant any real harm and was only messing with Emma but she also knew that Emma had major abandonment issues and yesterday would have been particularly difficult for her.

“I suppose you and Emma are equal but you put a spell on me… so we aren’t equal,” she says with a devious grin that has her sisters eyes widen in panic. 

Messing with Emma was one thing, the blonde was no match for her, even if she had gotten the better of her this time. Messing with Regina was a whole different matter altogether. “Come on, Sis, let’s just forget all this. Let me out of here and we’ll all carry on with our day,” she tries to bargain.

“There’s a confinement potion around the cell. If you undo it I’ll open the cell and she can be on her way,” Emma informs her wife. She desperately wanted for all of this to be over so she could have a bit of time with the brunette.

“I’m going to take you home,” Regina says to Emma as she cups her cheek, “and kiss you better.” She looks down to Emma’s lap and bites her lip to make sure her lover knows exactly what she has in mind. Now that things were back to normal their two mornings of missed love making weighed heavily on her and she needed to rectify that immediately. Emma grins at her, almost vibrating with joy at the prospect of going home to bed with Regina.

“Just undo the spell and let me out of here before you make me throw up with your grossness,” Zelena demands.

“Sure. As soon as we are done I’ll be right back here to let you out,” Regina taunts as she poofs herself and Emma away in a cloud of purple smoke.

“Get back here now! I’m starving and I need a pee!” Regina shouts into the now empty office. She lays on the cot and kicks her legs out in frustration so that her feet bang on the thin mattress as she throws a temper tantrum.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

“Don’t you think we should let her out of there?” Emma questions when the smoke disappears from around them as they are left standing in their bedroom.

Regina pushes her onto the bed and climbs on top of her. She kisses her hard in a desperate need to have her right now. “It’s her fault I hurt you so she doesn’t get to leave until I’ve made it up to you. Now please stop talking about her before it kills the mood,” she breathlessly says as she kisses down the blondes throat.

Emma isn’t stupid enough to mess this up so she shuts up and reaches for the buttons on Regina’s blouse, undoing them all until she’s able to push the material apart and peel the garment from her lovers incredible body. 

“I know it’s only been a day and I didn’t remember you but I’ve missed this,” Regina says as she pushes the horrendous red leather jacket she dislikes so much down toned arms, quickly followed by her lovers light grey sweater being pulled over her head. “I need to taste you,” she demands as she then pops the button on the blondes skinny jeans and helps her wiggle out of them.

It was gone lunchtime by the time the lovers were satisfied enough to lay back and just hold each other. “We should probably get back to the station and let Zelena go now,” Emma suggests.

“After lunch,” Regina says without any sympathy for her sisters predicament as she basks in the feeling of Emma’s naked body below her and strong arms around her. After lunch, then maybe another round of pleasure and a shower she would release her sister. That should be enough to teach her a lesson she thinks to herself. She may not be the Evil Queen anymore but that didn’t mean she couldn’t enjoy a little vengeance every now and then.


End file.
